untitled

It's hard when someone you care about blames you for everything. You are always the cause of their heartache, the root of their frustrations, the reason they are so unhappy. You've ruined my life. I'm not myself and I'm keeping myself down because of you. You don't do anything for me. I get nothing from you.

And you feel like nothing because while you don't hear these words every day, you hear them often enough to have them affect you, to make you feel worthless and insignificant. You hear it often enough to wonder if the words are more true than you'd like them to be.

Then you begin to feel alone and realize that maybe the fact that you don't make people happy is the reason you are as alone as you are. The reason no one calls to hang out. The reason you go home to an empty apartment and all you have is your laptop and a weak internet signal for companionship.

You want to apologize for being worthless.
You don't want to be alone but you think you deserve it.

Some life.